Fire Drills.....

As some of you readers know, I have a job as a substitute teacher. And anything can happen as a substitute teacher. I've had things from a kid literally running into another kid's fist to learning a new dance called the "Cat's Daddy."

Today, the school I was at decided to be ambitious and have two fire drills in one day. The first one went okay. No problems. The second one, however, was on a prep hour. I had gone downstairs to use the bathroom when I heard the sirens go off for the second drill. Blasting sirens and flashing lights all in the bathroom.

Unfortunately, this wasn't one of those times where you could just up, re-pants and go. Oh, no no no. I was still in the process when it all went out. When I was done, I flushed and tried to look for a way out.

Ever seen the inside of a school during a fire drill? For the longest time, I thought it just say empty as everyone stood outside awkwardly. Actually, what happens is that there are special walls that come out during the fire drill that block the hallway out. So I couldn't really walk out of the school to get out of the school. So until then, I stood awkwardly in the teacher's lounge.

When I heard the kids coming back in, I casually strolled out of the teacher's lounge, and walked with the kids to the classes like I was with them the whole time.

Moral of the story? Don't go poop when you know a fire drill is looming.

Awkward pic of the day!

Also, if I haven't plastered your pages enough, I finally published my book I've been talking up! I published through CreateSpace. Any time someone buys a copy of my book, it's produced and sent to them. Because two people have bought my book so far, two copies of the book are being created and sent to people right now. :) 

https://www.createspace.com/4460603

And for those of you that prefer the Kindle version...

http://www.amazon.com/Masked-Omen-ebook/dp/B00FI2WDH8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380598793&sr=8-1&keywords=Masked+Omen

So get your copies today! 

Drinking Games

Sadly, I don't have any alcohol to get the Big Bang Theory drinking game. I wish I did. It would make for quite a night. Especially since BBT is on for an hour today. What are some other TV shows that have drinking games? I know Dr. Who is one of them, but who else?

Awkward Picture of the Day!

Awkward Moments in China!

There will be a new blog dedicated to my adventures in China. Problem is, I don't know what to name it! Does anyone want to contribute any ideas?

So far there's a couple ideas I had....

Awkward Moments in China

Fat Kid, Skinny Country

Anything else, give me a suggestion!

Awkward Photo of the day!

Make-Up. Holy Balls....

A couple days back, I bought some mascara that would supposedly make my eyes bigger if I used it. I was fairly curious. Mainly because I was hoping I could get a subtle change to my look. Nothing wrong with it. I just wanted my eyes to look bigger.

Of course, I tried it, and unfortunately, my eyes didn't look any bigger. I had a friend actually tell me that she didn't even notice I was wearing any mascara at all. Of course, it got me thinking. How the hell did the make-up industry manage to hook me, who doesn't even like wearing makeup?

It's a strange thing. It's not even that great of a thing. To me, it's nothing but glorified colored powder. But for once it got me. My main thing was that I didn't look like the Westerner that I am, so I thought getting mascara was going to help. Nope! I should've known better than that. But I'll learn next time.

They say that some lipsticks have cayenne pepper extract in them to irritate a woman's lips to make them bigger. I'm not sure if that's really true or not, but I think that's a little far-fetched to get a woman's lips bigger than what they want it to be.

The beauty industry is probably one of the strangest industries ever. If you really think about it, they spend tons and tons of money on making even the most confident woman feel bad about her appearance in hopes she will buy their product to feel good about themselves again. It kind of goes along with the the cultural standard that a woman's only purpose in this world is to be hot.

Just try having a conversation with the average teenager. If you talk about things like politics, world history, or even math, the girl might shut down and say she's too stupid to know anything about this. This isn't true of all girls. But of a lot of girls I know. They're bright. They know something is up with all of these topics. But try to get a girl to talk about it, she gets uncomfortable and shuts down.

Yet, you get her talking about makeup and fashion, then suddenly she's a chatterbox and a wealth of knowledge.

This is almost the same of grown women too! Take the time to think about it. How many conversations have you had with another female where the start of it has been, "I like...." and it's something superficial? Very few times, it seems, the conversation strays from something other than looks. How strange is that?

End my rant with the awkward pic of the day!

Guilty Pleasure Books

Today I'm going to talk about books that people probably shouldn't like but can't help it when they do.

I recently joined the Fifty Shades of Grey band-wagon and am currently on the third book. I know what you're thinking. Need to get my porn reading out of my system, right? But here's the thing. It's actually not the raunchy sex that has kept me reading through the series. It makes it interesting, and makes me curious about that kind of lifestyle, but in the sense of a sociologist.

The reason I've been engaged in the book is because of one character. His name is Jack. His last name, I have no idea. He first appeared towards the end of the first Fifty Shades book. From the way he was written, it was clear that he's a sleaze. It had you wondering if he was going to show off the sleaze now, or if he was going to wait until future books to show it off.

In the second book, he had a bigger part, and the whole time I found myself wondering, "Is he going to make a move on her yet?" What's he going to do.

Now here I am on the third book, and I don't want to give anything away. I've only read the first page. So I have no idea what's going to happen with the characters. Christian and Ana's relationship doesn't interest me. Their relationship is too predictable to keep me interested in that. Instead, I'm more intrigued by the side characters. Hence why I've kept reading, even after I found out Fifty Shades is Twilight fan-fiction.

What will happen? Hmm.... Hard to say. But we'll find out! Tell me about your guilty pleasure book. Even if it's a book that you're supposed to hate!

Awkward Picture of the day!

Overthinking Thursday

While it's still legal to think, it's time for the masses to use those underused brains of theirs and really give that organ a hell of a workout.

"But how?" you ask? Simple. If you don't want to think all the time, take one day and just think the hell out of it. Hence why there's such a thing called Over-Thinking Thursday!

It's a bit of a new tradition, really. How you participate is simple. Take whatever topic you feel like. Politics, your favorite fan-doms (Like Harry Potter or Doctor Who), or any sort of thought you want to express. Once you've come up with something, you must post it on facebook and see what happens. Either you'll get a reaction and start up quite the conversation on Facebook or Twitter, or nothing will happen at all. It's all up to the people to join in on entertaining this thought.

"Do you have to agree with whatever you're talking about?" No! The point of Over-Thinking Thursdays is to entertain a thought. If there's a "What-if" question that's been eating at you for a while, post it! Entertain the thought. It's all up to you. YOU are the thinker!

Awkward pic of the day!

What Happens When you Read 50 Shades at Wal Mart

For those that don't know yet, I've joined the 50 Shades bandwagon for the time being. I'm currently reading the second book.

So I'm at Wal Mart today, waiting for pictures to be developed so I can get everything together for China. And as I'm waiting I decide to read the 50 Shades book. I look up in time to see one of the Wal Mart workers walking out of one of those "Employees Only" doors. She says, "I like your book! Wait till you get to the third one!"

Awkward picture of the day!

How China Came to Be

And now, boys and girls, I will tell you the tale of how I managed to land a deal with Disney to go to China.

Disney has a program to teach children English by the name of Disney English. A customer at my dad's bar came in one day with a paper to the website to Disney English. For a while, I held off on applying because of my confidence not being so high. But after rejections from every other company, I finally went, "What do I have to lose?" and applied last Sunday.

The next day, I had an e-mail waiting for me saying that I didn't have the qualifications for the Director Role that I applied for. BUT! I was qualified for another job through them. They sent me a link to a title called Foreign Trainer. Which is pretty much an English teacher. So I decided to not throw away a job offer and apply.

The day after that, they sent me an e-mail inviting me to fill out a questionare survey to figure out my personality. Not even an hour after I filled it out, I was scheduling a SKYPE interview. At 2:30 AM, I'm interviewing. They almost said no to me because Disney is so rigid on two years of post-college work experience. But when the interviewer realized her mistake, the interview began again.

Finally, I get a call last Thursday saying that I landed the job and would be shipping out in November. Best. Day. Ever. :D

And now I've been doing mad paperwork as well as TEFL-C certification. That is craziness. I couldn't believe how fast it was. :)

Awkward picture of the day!

 

Green

Guess who had a dumbass moment? I'll give you a hint. She has two thumbs, and writes a blog called Awkward Moments. Well, this is one of them.

On my way to my lunch hour at work, I was stopped by one of my co-workers so she could ask if I had a Green Card. I looked at her, confused. I thought she knew I was American. So I tried as best as I could to nicely say, "I'm American. Why would I have one of those."

Turns out, she was saying Green CAR not card. Rain was pouring down so hard that someone's green car was soaked because their windows were down. Oops.

Awkward picture of the day!