Nice Guys Finish Last? Think Again

There is no phrase I hate more than this one...

"Nice guys finish last."

We all have at least one friend that says it, guy or girl. To be fair, girls have their own variation of this phrase too. Unlike guys, girls tend to attack one another for the way they look, but that's a whole other story for another day. With guys, they could be the coolest person to hang out with. Unfortunately, the moment they have their sights set on someone they think they have a chance with, sometimes you can't help but wonder how long after the rejection you hear that dreaded phrase.

 Some of us have had the misfortune of dating someone that constantly whined about being the nice guy. You can't help but think, "Thanks for telling me I'm nothing, ass-douche!" (I hope some you do what I wish I did in that situation and gave the guy a good punch in the throat. Not that I'm one that condones violence all the time...).  To me, it seems the ones crying about their nice guy status are the worst of the bunch. This may not always be true, but my douche-bag senses can't help but go nuts the moment, "Nice guys finish last" comes out of a male's mouth.

I know, it sounds strange to hate it. But here's why.

1. It automatically makes it sound like the person you're talking about, in most cases a girl, only goes for people that treat her like crap. When a guy complains about the girl of his dreams going for "bad guys" and never looking to him because he's a nice guy it can get insulting. Like he assumes the girl likes the attention she gets when she's with the wrong guy. Especially if the girl is being treated poorly in public. Now if there's abuse going on, yes! That is a douche! He has a good reason to be vocal. If he's aware of the guy cheating, same deal. Another good reason to be vocal about the relationship. But if a guy simply doesn't like the girl's boyfriend and gives him the douche label, that's just whining/complaining. It's none of his business who the girl chooses. Nor is it his business what happens in the relationship. The boyfriend could be a completely different person in private than he is in public. The choice needs to be respected.

2. It shows how insecure the guy really is. In my experience the ones that claim to be "nice guys" tend to be the ones that are the most insecure. These guys could be the ones that can't see any value in themselves unless they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. Sometimes they're extremely unhappy and think a girlfriend will wave the Magic Wand of Happiness. A lot of the time, she can't. These guys are usually the meanest when a rejection happens as well. Don't get me started on the double-standards either.

3. The girl is put in a lose-lose situation. "Nice guys" have an ugly habit of putting girls in very awkward and often demeaning positions. What it all comes down to is this. Either she can be the symbol of his self-worth by becoming his girlfriend, or she can be a really crappy consolation prize by keeping him in the friend-zone.

When I was in high school, the only times I was asked out were by guys that put their value on whether or not they had a girlfriend. If I said yes to them, it was for the wrong reasons. Either I was bullied into dating them or because I couldn't take the constant begging. It didn't take long for me to get that guy feeling that it wasn't right and broke up with them a few days later. I still vividly remember one guy yelling, "FUCK!" and going on a rant about why girls always reject him after I said no to dating him. I'd find myself questioning if they really liked me or if they simply wanted a girlfriend.

College was a little different. I did have a boyfriend. But after a bad breakup and a failed attempt at staying friends, I found out it wasn't because he actually liked me. He saw a girlfriend as a status symbol. He couldn't feel good about himself unless he was with a girl. Many times during our relationship, I found myself questioning whether or not he liked me or just wanted a girlfriend. My first clue should've been his insistence on talking about every girl under the sun rejecting him because he was nice to his roommate in front of me. And constantly talking about the girls he could've been with if I didn't butt in. That's all water in the bridge.

Is there such thing as a nice guy? Yes. A true nice guy doesn't seek attention for all the good things he's done for anyone. He's humble when you thank him and express your appreciation. He may not always act like a nice guy either. The true nice guy could be the very "douche" the supposed "nice guy" was complaining about in the first place. It's hard to say. In my experience, the real nice guys are aren't ones to seek attention. If he gets rejected, he'll be sad. I've never known anyone to take a rejection in stride. But he won't dwell on it.

In conclusion, the phrase, "Nice guys finish last" needs to be killed with fire. The moment it's said, that guy is crowning himself World's Biggest Asshole. When guys realize this, maybe the phrase from hell will be destroyed forever. One can only hope.