World War Z

Last night I finally saw World War Z. Gotta say, it was good! I was pleasantly surprised that I'd like this movie, considering the fact that I really don't like zombie movies all that much. They're a little too freaky for me. I tend to have nightmares because of these things. The zombies acted more like hunters instead of slow-moving wraiths. 

The only thing I had wrong with it was the ending. Without giving anything away, it got a little anti-climatic. Other than that... South Park! 

Yes, I was thinking about South Park the whole time I was watching. I was thinking of the South Park episode, "World War Zimmerman." If you haven't watched that episode yet, watch it. That's all I have to say about that. 

Classic Awkward pic of the day!

The Tale of Teste-Hands

Twas a boring Saturday night at work. Quite dead. I'd already cleaned up a bit when the phone at my register rang. It was a co-worker. She pointed out two guys and warned me to make sure to wash my hands if I end up touching anything one of the guys gives me or one of the guy's hands.

It didn't take me long to notice why. The guy's hands were going in his pants. A lot. It'd be one thing if it happened one time. I'd still want to wash my hands afterwards, but they seemed to go in his hands every three seconds. And not just in the front. It was kinda disgusting how slowly they were watching, and how much of a train wreck it was like watching the two men pass with one of them getting handsy with his own junk. After he passed, I felt very obligated to wash my hands.

Well, I thought it was over, but it wasn't. Because they went through my line. Try as I might, I couldn't seem to avoid touching the hand. Fingertips seemed to touch knuckles, while flat ends of fingers touched palms. I couldn't avoid it no matter how hard I tried. And when they left, I couldn't leave to wash my hands right away because of another customer.

Never has someone scratching themselves made me so irrationally paranoid and so disgusted at the same time.

Awkward picture of the day!

The Scary College Teacher

Today, I'm going to talk about a writing teacher I had that scared the living hell out of me that inspired me to get published. He had an ego and had the demeanor of an asshole. And could go on rants that were so bad that he managed to drive one kid to change classes. But if you could brave them and not shake too badly, he had some great insights to writing.

Granted, he did warn the class that he did turn into a raving idiot, but I still dreaded the days where it was time to critique. He was never too bad with me, but I was never sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The biggest tip I took to heart from that class that I still use today was to read everything out loud that I write. If there's a mistake, I'll hear it. I can't tell you how many weird-ass sentences I've caught just from reading something out loud. It works.

And that is my writing tip of the day.

Awkward pic of the day!

How I love the Master

The Gallant "Oh Shit!" Death

We've all heard of different deaths. The ways people die. Dramatically, bravely, tough guys.

Today, we're going to talk about the, "Oh shit!" death. What is that, you ask? The "Oh shit!" death is a death usually characterized by when someone's last words are the name of the death. Oh shit. And, just for fun, why don't we count how many times we say, "oh shit!" at the end of the article? The prize can be whatever you want it to be with your group of friends. I don't care. I'm not physically there to dictate what your little prize is.

Anyway, before I continue with the shit discussion, I must warn you, there are going to be spoiler alerts in this post, so if you hate spoilers, you may want to stop leaving now. Otherwise, the next "Oh shit!" death may be yours. Now let's have some fun and read about this very distinct death scene.

As you've probably already figured, the gallant, "Oh Shit!" death is something that's pretty much only seen in the movie's I've yet to really read it in a book. Though if any of you have seen it in a book, please comment. These moments are usually characterized when a villain thinks he's won and goes crazy, not noticing that the good guy's done something the turn the tables, ultimately killing him. The last words the villain says are, "Oh shit!" and the villain dies.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

My two favorite ones come from the movies Little Shop of Horrors and The Rundown.

In Little Shop of Horrors, the Audrey II has gotten so huge and so out of control, he doesn't care if he gets caught eating people anymore, and Seymor walks in on him eating his girlfriend. Audrey II reveals himself to be an alien that's quickly reproducing, quickly breaking into song, singing to Seymor that he'll never win because his plant babies will eat all of humanity. Suddenly, Seymor sees  power currents and plugs them into Audrey II. The electricity surges through Audrey II, forcing the plant to scream, "OH SHIT!" before exploding into a million pieces.

The Rundown wasn't as explosive. Chrisopher Walken was the villain. He had a couple victory words and walked a couple victory steps before he whispered, "Oh shit!" and fell over, dead. Both entertaining. Both great "oh shit!" deaths.

If you have any more of these deaths, please comment.

As for the "Oh shit" count? If you counted twelve, you win!

Awkward picture of the day!

Future of Storytelling Class

Anyone out there want to learn about different ways to tell stories? I've recently signed up for a class called The Future of Storytelling. What can I say? I'm a storyteller at heart. So it'll be interesting to see what happens.

Instead of an awkward picture of the day, here's a link to the class to enroll if you're interested.

https://iversity.org/courses/the-future-of-storytelling?enrol=true&signup=true#shareCourseModal

Arrival of the Books!

So as I look at the book that came in today for my mother, I realized, I forgot two important things. I feel quite silly for forgetting them. The first one is the page numbers. I can't believe I completely forgot about the page numbers from spending so much time stressing out about the formatting. Oops.

The second one I forgot is the dedication page. So I will reveal the people who I dedicate this book to on here.

To Eric, Katlyn, Megan, Mandy, and James B.

Instead of an awkward pic of the day, I'll post a picture of my book. :)